Emma+Jacob

I miss feeling that I have a dancer’s body.

It is not so much about being fat or not.  Heck, I still fit into a size zero even after a big meal.  It is about feeling light, energetic, long and toned.  It is about shining positive rays on the world and embracing both ups and downs with a genuine grin.

It is about not being wiped out and foggy-headed immediately upon waking up from decent sleep.

It has been more than a year since I stopped being a vegan and focused on nourishing my body and healing my mind.  I even quit soda (yep, actually possible) and coffee (yes, believe it).

But I still feel like I am lugging a ton of bricks on my back every single day.  Not to mention inexplicably losing muscle tone.

At least my body no longer feels too cold for comfort.  Still underweight but I think I am getting there.

This month, I will be signing up in a gym (or maybe yoga class) to add variety to the workouts I do at home (which I already toned down in the name of health).  Let us see what happens.

Everything in God’s time.

Woke up feeling positive today.  If I’m going to gain weight to be fertile, I’m going to make it look damn good! :D

Argh.

Weekends must consist of three days - one to rest, one for family, and one to catch up with work/errands

Dammit. I’m suffocated.

Small acts of kindness are never small. 

I know that this would not sound much to everybody else, but it seriously means a lot to me - more than grand gestures, expensive gifts, or breathtaking travels.

The past four days, I was away from home to attend an out of town wedding with my workmates.  That meant J had to be the man of the house, which is not really much since we are a family of two.

So I asked J to do two things: throw the trash every day, and buy the items in our grocery list for the week.

Easy.

And J, who is equally busy and who happened to be feverish and fatigued, went the extra mile.

I was surprised to find out this morning on my way to work that he gave my car a full tank of gas.  He also made sure that my parking pass is in its right place, in case I forget to bring it in my hurry to get to work.

He refilled our medicine cabinet, even though I forgot to place in our grocery list that we are out of vitamin C.  

He tidied up our place, even though the cleaning lady will arrive tomorrow morning when my schedule is more relaxed.

He cleaned my iPad and fitted the new smart cover I bought but had no time to inspect and test drive.

And best of all, he bought me a bottle of good red wine just because he knows I buy one every week and that a nice glass makes me calm and happy after a long day…

…even though I did not place it in our list of stuff to buy.

…even though he does not care about wine at all.

…even though he had to battle long lines in our favorite grocery store (which happened to have a big store-wide weekend sale).

…even though he could have bought some cheap table wine in a nearby store.

To paraphrase Fr. Dacanay in his homily in the wedding I attended with my workmates - we should not think about how marriage will change our lives; rather, we should focus on what it will add to our lives.

Love you, J.